That’s right. Just admit when you don’t know the answer.
Who just cringed when they read that? Did it bring up a memory or two? I have my fair share.
Sitting in a lecture hall getting asked in front of 50 people I don’t personally know my opinion on Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of personality. Like, aren’t we supposed to put our hand up if we want to speak up at these things?
Or the strategy session at work. Jordan, where do you think it’s best to focus our efforts in the coming year? (cue cricket sounds).
But even more importantly when I’ve personally been challenged with a big decision in my business and not sure what route to take.
Why Do We Fear Not Knowing?
Those feelings we all hate to feel. Feeling stupid, uninformed, or incompetent.
But the fear of experiencing those feelings might actually prevent us from getting the right answer when we need it.
Throughout my journey as a business owner, I didn’t know the answer. Often. What helped me was figuring out that when I did ask others for help, it ended up making me feel more confident because I understood the options that were available to me. More confident with the decisions I went with.
You quickly discover when you’re ‘in the weeds’, it’s a lot harder to see the right answers.
I learned that phrase during my server days: restaurant slang used to describe being behind or beyond their capacity to handle a situation. Struggle bus’n hard.
Ditch the Stigma
Being able to admit what we don’t know and asking for help. Sounds like vulnerability to me.
If you run your own business, or just want to acquire more confidence in this area, let’s break down why we should ditch the insecurity and start admitting when we don’t have it all figured out.
Fact. Our brains just can’t know everything there is to know. So why can’t we admit it?
Sit on this for a minute:
Insecure people pretend to know things they don’t. They dismiss expertise from others.
Secure people admit what they don’t know. They defer to expertise in others.
Proactive people take the initiative to learn what they don’t know. They acquire expertise in others.
Adam Grant
I find it strange that the feeling when you find the best possible answer or solution doesn’t outweigh the feeling of not knowing.
For example, doesn’t it feel awesome and give a little high five to your ego when you have an opinion that others agree with? So why wouldn’t we want to share that feeling or allow others to feel it too?
I love brainstorming / strategy sessions. The actual goal is not to come WITH the right answer, it’s to come together and FIND the right answer. The team proactively discusses areas of improvement, collective goals, and everyone has a chance to contribute. What a concept.
If we open ourselves up a little more we can actually acquire even more skills and knowledge. A collective of intelligence. Not just one person with ‘all the facts’.
Why You Should Give it a Try
- Idea generation is key to teamwork, collaboration and ultimate success. Being open to learning from others around you, can end up leading you to becoming even more knowledgeable.
- Admitting you don’t know can allow you to also gain and provide confidence that you’re going to find the answer.
- Connection. The process can allow you to reach out to people, and have a reason to connect.
Ways To Start Practicing
Reframe the perceptions you have to allow yourself to feel courageous instead. Being the knower, as Brené Brown puts it, it’s “armour”. It’s a defensive mechanism and frankly, a total buzz kill.
The perception needs to change from wanting to “be right” and have yourself heard to wanting to “get it right.”
Remember
No one really knows what the hell they’re doing anyway. Shifting your perceptions towards your more vulnerable self and admitting you don’t know will ultimately help you find the best answer you really need. So, admit you don’t know what the F**k you’re doing more often, and enjoy the learning process.
xo Juicy
